Tim Braheem kicks off this latest video with a metaphor derived from an American Indian story that shares a simple but powerful message: people need time to decompress after difficult or stressful situations before they re-enter calmer environments. Much like the American Indian men who would relax and talk amongst each other until they felt ready to go back to their families, mortgage loan officers can also benefit from developing a ritual to help them transition from work to home.
If you often find yourself worrying about work when you should be focused on your loved ones, this guide can give you the personal development tools and tips you need to strike a healthier work/life balance.
Believe it or not, millions of people struggle to leave work in the workplace where it belongs. Instead, the daily worries and stressors of the workday tend to follow people home, causing them to feel tense and disconnected from their families.This is especially true when we’re running on little sleep. According to stress-management trainer and author, Jordan Friedman, fatigue can make people more susceptible to remember and reflect on negative experiences rather than positive ones. However, a consistent after-work routine can help you feel more upbeat during the evening, even if you’re tired.
Psychologists actually refer to this type of daily ritual as “boundary work.” The idea is to develop your own unique routines and rituals that create “mental space” between the day’s various stressors and the pleasant evening awaiting you at home. Once you begin experimenting with different boundary work strategies, you’ll soon be able to seamlessly shift your mindset from stressed or frustrated into calm and refreshed.
The important thing about boundary work is that one size does not fit all. What works for one person may not be helpful or appealing to you, so you’ll have to be willing to do some experimenting before you find the routine that “clicks” for you. For example, some people like to be completely disconnected for a certain amount of time between the end of their shift and entering their homes. If you feel like you also need to have some quiet moments to yourself after work, you might find the following transition processes beneficial:
However, some people feel like going from a high-stress workday to a totally quiet, distraction-free environment would be too jarring for them. If you don’t think meditation or quiet reflection is what you need, you may need to refocus your intense focus onto a different activity that will engage your mind as much as your work does. If this sounds more like you, these activities may be great choices:
Sometimes, it’s the littlest details that can make the biggest impact in a person’s unique daily ritual. High-ranking business executives, for instance, have admitted that playing certain games on their smartphones is the most relaxing transition process for them, whereas others may feel ready to go home once they have organized tomorrow’s to-do list. If you’re in need of some extra advice to help you improve your presence during your off-duty hours, consider one of these slightly unusual tips:
With a bit of creativity and experimentation, you can reap the benefits of a daily ritual, and your family will be delighted to see you fully engaged and present whenever you walk in the door!
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